The focus of this blog has changed for 2018.
I am helping men who choose a journey from gay to straight identity, living, and knowledge. The journey has five phases. Each week the blog addresses all but has particular focus on one of the phases in the sequence. Week of 5/28/18: Spotlight on Phase 2.
RIVKA EDELMAN, BOBBY LOPEZ, DAWN STEFANOWICZ TO BE OFFICIALLY PUBLISHED APRIL 13, 2014
This installment of La Joie de Vivre is the last of a four-part series, bringing to a close a dialogue among three adults who were raised by gay parents in the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s -- Bobby, Rivka, and Dawn. The topics they address in Parts One, Two, and Three now culminate in their expression of concern about abuse in gay parenting homes and what transgender cultures means for the future.
In this edition of La Joie de Vivre, we move to Part Three of the four-part series; here the three adult children of gay parents -- Rivka, Bobby, and Dawn -- build on the topics they discussed in Parts One and Two. In this segment they talk about what it was like when they realized that their family lives were the source of political controversy, and particularly their reaction to the sudden popular attention to "same-sex parenting" after the publication of Heather Has Two Mommies in 1989.
In this edition of La Joie de Vivre, we continue where Part One of our four-part series left off.
In part one, Dawn, Rivka, and Bobby spoke about whether they felt their experiences were reflected in the highly public research into same-sex parenting. They also delved into the ways that they coped with the absence of a stable parent of the "missing" sex in the home.
In this, the second part, they tackle some of the questions about the impact of their upbringing on their later sexual choices and point of view.
This installment of La Joie de Vivre is Part 1 of a four-part series. In December 2013, three of the most outspoken adults raised by gay parents -- Rivka Edelman, Robert Oscar "Bobby" Lopez, and Dawn Stefanowicz -- conferred for an hour to talk about same-sex parenting. The recording of their voices will be uploaded with graphics as episodes of Rue des Sages, but for now, English Manif is posting the written transcripts of their conversation for people to peruse. There are some distinctions among Rivka, Bobby, and Dawn that are important to note at the outset. All three grew up with gay parents in the 1970s. Dawn and Rivka, now in their fifties, experienced some of same-sex parenting in the 1960s, while Bobby, in his early forties, experienced same-sex parenting in the 1980s. All three were raised by gay parents in a time when same-sex parenting was not a political phenomenon, and when the gay community was not particularly interested in the experiences of children raised by gay parents.
Rivka, Bobby, and Dawn are also more educated than the average child of a same-sex couple. Rivka and Bobby both have doctorates in English from highly ranked universities; they are also both professors. Dawn completed her studies in Canada and received her license as an accountant. Since Dawn published Out from Under in 2007, she has been flown around the world, testifying in places like Paraguay; her writing has been translated into languages ranging from Chinese to Portuguese. Likewise, Rivka and Bobby are both published authors.
Rivka at the Well
The education of these three individuals could be read one of two ways. Perhaps they are atypical of children raised by gay parents. In the Doug Allen study published in 2013, based on 20% of the Canadian census, children raised by same-sex couples had markedly low academic achievement, graduating high school at only 65% the rate of children raised by a mother and father. The only exception to Allen's finding, however, was that boys raised by gay dads fared exceptionally well, finishing high school at a much higher rate than children raised by a mother and father. Dawn was raised by a gay father, while Bobby and Rivka were raised by lesbians. Therefore their conversation does not include the fourth category -- a male raised by gay men -- yet the three of them have above-average educational attainment. What follows is the unedited words of their three-way discussion. Each of the four parts of this series represents fifteen minutes of discussion. ********* B=Bobby